Thursday, November 29, 2012

In the beginning...

In the beginning there was Bio Mum and me, Incubator Mum, living happily together like two lesbian pigs in mud. Then came the undeniable and unrelenting thoughts of babies. Babies are everywhere! I can't go to the shops without seeing a baby or a pregnant lady and instead of turning me off the whole idea, it just made me ever more certain I wanted that for Bio Mum and myself.

I wanted the sleepless nights and pretending to be impressed by every little thing this tiny human would do. I wanted to get fat and have people ask me "so when are you due?" And I wanted to tell them and gush about baby clothes, cots, toys, car seats and the like. I wanted to experience crazy pregnancy hormones and weird cravings. I wanted to build on our family in the only way that could ever make us feel complete. I wanted (and still want) to be a Mummy.

Now Bio Mum and I had talked about babies a fair bit. We established early on that we both wanted them in the not so distant future. I had always seen myself settling down and having kids one day (of course when I was a teenager I forced those dreams to include a glad am I that I realised my Prince Charming was really a Princess?!). It was something I had always wanted. I remember being a little girl and playing families with my friends. I always had babies in those games and it felt right.

I was born to be a lesbian Mum, just like other people are born to be doctors or actors or porn stars (well actually I don't know if people are born to be that last one...that might just happen). I was born to meet Bio Mum and fall head over heels in love with her. I was born to build a family and a life with her, that much I am certain of.

So once that certainty was there, the next step was to actually start seriously talking about the whole baby making thing we would need to embark on. 

Having a baby sounds reasonably simple doesn’t it? I mean people and animals have been doing it since the beginning of time so how hard can it be? Well I for one never realised how complicated (and expensive) it could become.

You know the old story your parents told you about how you came into the world. Your Mum and Dad loved each other very much and then you were born. Magic!

Well in reality it doesn’t quite work out like that. There are variables that turn this wonderful, natural every day event into something that is still wonderful, but with added layers of complexity. For Bio Mum and I the journey is somewhat different from the one our parents took to have us.

The journey for a lesbian, or hell any, couple to have a baby can take a variety of forms. We could adopt, we could foster, one or both of us could get pregnant (preferably not at the same time! That would be way too much crazy pregnancy hormones for one couple) or we could have our fur kids. Bio Mum and I are besotted with our fur kid Moo, the big, goofy, loveable Rottweiler/Ridgeback cross.

We are now quite a ways along our baby journey, not quite at the cooking (pregnancy) stage but we’re getting there. Over the next lot of post I will give the details of what has gone down so far. The appointments, the tests, the dreaded hormones, the whole kit and caboodle. 

It has been an exciting/stressful/challenging time, but at the end of the day it will be 150% worth it when we get to meet Bub.

Incubator Mum, signing out.

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