Monday, April 22, 2013

Day 1 & 2

Tuesday 23 April 2013 - Day 2

Hello all, I hope everyone is well. I am actually pretty uncomfortable and in a bit of pain because my uterus is punching me from inside. Ok so to clarify, yesterday was day one of my cycle and this is the cycle in which we are going to transfer one of our frosty babies into my uterus and hope the little thing sticks. Yeah that's right in 40 weeks, if all goes to plan, I will be having a baby (or twins if Bio Mum gets her way)!

I am excited and scared and overjoyed and impatient and nervous and happy and worried and calm all rolled into one. I feel ready, which is strange because I always thought you never actually felt 'ready' to have a baby. I always saw it as something you were never quite ready for, but that you grew into like a pair of jeans that didn't fit before you had a growth spurt as a teenager. I mean how do people get ready for their lives to change? 

But I am ready for my life to change, I feel ready to have a baby and to be a Mum. 

Of course, with that said I am going to have to learn a lot in the coming year. I have never changed a nappy, never fed a baby, never bathed a baby, never put one to sleep. I have never had to deal with real sleep deprivation and have an intense aversion to vomit and the other  bodily products. I could potentially be screwed...or maybe, like everyone says, it is all different when its your baby. Maybe when its my little Bub I will hardly bat an eye lid at projectile vomit or poop explosions. Maybe I will adapt to motherhood like I was born to be a Mum. 

Maybe I will have to learn a very quick crash course in parenting...maybe someone needs to buy my 'Babies for Dummies' or something...ok maybe I'm not as ready as I thought I was only a few minutes ago.

Maybe I'm ready for the idea of a baby and need to catch up with being ready for actually being pregnant and having a real live little Bub to look after.

Bio Mum's and my dear friends had a beautiful baby boy a week and a bit ago and it has given me a real yearning to have one of my own. Little E-pup (as I am calling him) is such a handsome little guy and I know they will be the most fantastic mothers, maybe they can teach me a thing or two along the way? I have so much to learn.

Bio Mum will be great. She is so great with babies and kids (mostly because she is a big kid). She will be a great Mum while I fumble along and try not to drop Bub or mess up too much. I am lucky to have Bio Mum as my partner in all this.

I have been reading this great pregnancy book, 'Up the Duff' by Kaz Cooke. It is the first book I have read that really laid it all out clearly with no bullshit. It's funny and informative and so far not freaking me out too much. I recommend it highly! Its great because nothing is sugar coated and it offers great advice.

I have to admit that now that we are on track to actually get pregnant, now that the time has come and its not just some distant idea that is months away, its hard not to shout it from the roof tops and tell everyone! I want to share the excitement and nerves with the world. This is such a huge thing that we are doing and it feels strange that no one else knows about it.

I think its for the best that no one knows, it means that we don't have to deal with other people's disappointment if it doesn't work. Plus I can't wait until I can tell my loved ones, workmates and friends. I can imagine announcing it at my section meeting, seeing the looks on my friend's faces when I tell them  and sharing their excitement they all hear the news for the first time. It is going to be hard to keep it a secret though.

So here we are, officially on day 2 in what might be the official first week of my pregnancy. Blood test on Monday morning to see how we are going heading towards ovulation and then yet more blood test and an ultra sound or two (internal, unfortunately) and then the trigger injection to trigger ovulation and then (drum roll) transfer! Bub may be only a 40 short weeks away!

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