Tuesday, December 18, 2012

You just got Lawyered!

Hello Blog readers! Merry almost Christmas!

I thought I'd start this post with a bit of an update on Moo as her surgery draws near (Tomorrow!). She is doing really well, although she is frustrated with being confined and not allowed to run around like the nut-case she can be. Most especially she is missing her daily patrols of the fence, she seems to think our boarders are unsafe because she is not on the job. 

It has been really awful to lock her in the laundry and keep her inside when all she wants to do is be out in the world. She just can't understand why we won't let her do the things she has always done. Well sadly we had all better get used to is because we are in for another 6+ weeks of it!

It is all going to be ok though. The surgery will go well and we'll get a lot more years with our big girl.

So onto a new topic, I am please to announce I have now not only finished all my Christmas shopping, I have also wrapped all the presents! I am very proud of myself as this has previously been a last minute kind of thing. This year I am organised and everything was planned well in advance. I am quietly very proud of myself and hope I can continue these good habits into the new year!

Christmas shopping is a nightmare, people become rabid during the Christmas season and being in close quarters with them in shopping centres is just unpleasant!

I have been blown away by the rudeness of some people! I mean really shoving into people does not get your shopping done any faster! I feel sorriest for people with little kids trying to battle their way through the toy departments...total bedlam! Then it hits me that next year that might be me and I can't help but think that Bub is totally getting all home-made gifts or I am doing all my shopping online!

Speaking of Bub I was thinking it was about time I gave you some more info into the journey to create Bub. So last thing I spoke about was our meeting with the fertility clinic's counsellor. After that we were required to go see a family lawyer to obtain a letter that stated the lawyer had explained our rights and all that.

So on 1 August 2012 off we went to meet with our lawyer, who looked about 12 but was actually pretty good. Although Bio Mum had a cringe moment (I was oblivious) when our lawyer said "for all intensive purposes" instead of "for all intents and purposes." I even received a very detailed email later that day stating the grammatically correct way of using that phrase. 

Lovely lawyer (despite being grammatically incorrect) knew her stuff and was well prepared for our meeting. She gave us a great overview of our individual rights, the status of Bub and even what happens with the birth certificate.

Each state and territory in Australia has different laws and legislation that impact same sex couples who have children together. Some states are really ridged and there is very little wiggle room, others are more liberal and open. In the ACT where we live, the laws and legislation are quite broad and allow a lot of rights for us as a same sex couple having a child together. 

Our lawyer gave us information about what happens in the event we separate, the legal status of our child, what happens if one of us dies and lastly any birth certificate issues. 

In terms of how this works, as the birth Mother (Incubator Mum) I am considered the mother  of the child. Bio Mum is considered the intended other parent of Bub. Therefore, Bub is considered a child of our relationship. In the case that we separate or one of us dies, Bub is considered the child of both of us and as such we each have rights as Bub's parents. 

As for birth certificates, here in the ACT it is quite straight forward for both Bio Mum and I to be listed on the birth certificate as Bub's parents. As the birth mother, I would be listed as the mother on the birth certificate and Bio Mum would be listed as other parent. 

Thankfully the ACT is pretty open and liberal in terms of same sex relationships. It is one of the few states or territories in Australia that allow civil unions for same sex couples (same sex marriages are illegal in Australia), actually Bio Mum and I met at a civil union. I am glad to be having Bub here in the ACT, I glad that they will be instantly recognised as our child.

So this is where I leave you, if I don't post again before, Merry Christmas and have a safe and wonderful new year!

More tales of Bio Mum and Incubator Mum will follow soon...

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